abrideoffire:

(◡‿◡✿) tall men that look scary and are feared by most people

(◕‿◕✿) that fall in love with itty bitty women that can bring them to their knees

darecrow:

Imagine being pregnant in new york

and your husband gets a cab for you and you’re rushing to the hospital when

"wELCOME TO THE CASH CAB"

abendlichter:

kittensaysfuckyou:

White privilege is never having to spell your last name.

you… you’ve never met a polish person have you

gumiappendsweet:

arpeggiosmelody:

candlelion:

you can tack on “and dragons” after any title and it’ll be 900% better

Dungeons & Dragons and Dragons

that’s TWICE the dragons, you literally cannot go wrong with this

dekutree:

me: horoscopes are fucking stupid if you believe that shit you’re a fucking—

horoscope: leos are sexy as hell

me: genius bruh these shits are real as fuck amazing how are they so on point all the time

jerryspringers:

when u say a really clever comeback without stuttering

image

relahvant:

look a tthis idiot i want 40

relahvant:

look a tthis idiot i want 40

pinacolifford:

i set my alarm clock song to amnesia so i can… wake up with amnesia