heathicorn:

apparently some guy named mark was trying to tell my mom he needed to speak with my dad about any financial transactions my mom was making because he was the man of the house and she did not take kindly to his implying that my dad was the primary breadwinner/person in charge in our family so

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ryansgayliner:

the thrilling saga

rnicrophone:

bombing:

cop: who the hell ordered all these pizzas

me: you said i got one phone call

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greenautumn:

beanseller:

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team aqua is still better than team magma

ahhh finally
New pokemon game= New pokemon comics from puniper

flannelbuttphenomenon:

life hack: get a tattoo. if the people at the job interview notice it and look concerned, laugh a little and explain “it’s just temporary.”  months later if your boss asks why you lied and said it was a temporary tattoo, stare off into the distance and whisper with a tremulous voice the poor excuse for truth your subconscious has been fighting for its entire insignificant existence: “everything is temporary.”

rdjsass:

me whenever